Getting Angry with Your Infant

Parenting an infant is a difficult and challenging prospect for most parents. But doing this when the child has medical issues, colic, or the parents don’t have a support system in place puts the infant at greater risk for varying degrees of child abuse. Parents get angry with their infant. It is expected. The question isn’t whether the parent will get angry, but what they will do about it when they are angry.

Infants have a way of impacting the social life of a parent as well as imposing financial and emotional challenges in their life. Most of these situations bring about feelings of discouragement and anger. Parents can get very frustrated with an infant who cries incessantly because of colic or another medical issue that can’t be easily remedied. Parents can also be sleep deprived from a baby who requires frequent night feedings to meet their nutritional needs. Single parents face the added financial burden of caring for another little mouth in the family without the financial support of a second parent.

All parents should make a plan on how to deal with their feelings of anger before they happen so that unfortunate events don’t result. In the first several months of life the neck muscles of the infant aren’t strong enough to hold the head steady. When parents become angry sometimes they are tempted to shake the child, as if this will somehow make the baby understand that their behavior is frustrating their parent.

Babies who suffer from this type of injury have specific injuries to the head, neck and eyes that are specific for shaken baby syndrome. The results of this injury leave the child with brain injuries which are permanent.

Plans that parents must consider to deal with angry feelings that are sure to come up should include having a support system in place. This means that you have a friend, relative or spouse who is understanding, compassionate and willing to lend a hand for a short time while you recharge batteries.

Listening to a crying baby for hours can take a toll anyone’s nerves. But that toll is never an excuse for hurting another human being – especially someone who is unable to defend themselves and as dependent as an infant is. Keep a list of phone numbers on hand of people you can call at anytime, day or night.

These should be people who are invested in you and the health of your baby. Sometimes just knowing that you have the support to help you is enough to get over the hump of being angry without inadvertently hurting your baby.

While pregnant most obstetricians speak with new mothers about getting angry with your infant and make recommendation for finding support and keeping the appropriate phone numbers handy. And most new mothers can’t even imagine becoming so angry that they would raise a finger to hurt their new little bundle of joy.

However, raising that hand isn’t as far from reality as one would hope it would be. Instead of turning their back on the advice or recommendations for support all new mothers should develop a plan to handle their anger and develop a support system before their baby is born.

RESOURCES

Shaken Baby TaskForce

BabyCenter: Is it Normal that My Baby Seems Angry?

MedlinePlus: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/

Aha! Parenting: How to Handle Your Anger at Your Child

United Church of God: How to Avoid Getting Angry with Your Child

AskDrSears: 5 Ways Parents Can Handle Their Anger