Being a single parent to an infant

Here are 15 great tips for single parents to infants who want to do the job better, easier and with less discouragement.

1. Above all – Find Help. Parenting an infant is difficult work. Normally a job done by two, a single parent is left to fend for themselves when the going gets tough. Get help from friends, relatives or neighbors. Anyone you can trust can also help.

2. Balance your life. Don’t get stuck at home or between home and work. If you aren’t balanced you are more likely to get sick or do a poor job parenting. Accept help from your friends, get outside in the open air, visit a new place even while taking your baby. Any of those suggestions can help recharge your batteries.

3. Children benefit from good role models – from both sexes. Even as an infant your child will respond to relationships with both sexes. It isn’t necessary to do it immediately but the sooner you start thinking about it the easier it will be to accomplish it later.

4. Don’t go beyond your limits. Parenting an infant is hard work. If you feel yourself starting to snap pick up the phone and leave the baby alone. Call the USA-24 hour hotline – 1-800-4-A-CHILD

5. Successful single parents accept their responsibility without minimizing it or exaggerating the problems. There are difficulties such as financial stresses, sole responsibility, restricted social life or lack of personal time.

6. Single parents who do best also make their family a priority. It takes some focus to be the best single parent you can be. This means being supportive and patient, being consistent and not highly punitive. Using logical consequences and providing structure will help children of single parents cope best.

7. Managing the house effectively will also help to be a better single parent. If you aren’t worried about the grime growing in the bathroom or finding time to pay the bills you’ll most likely be more patient and understanding with your infant. Ask for help with financial planning. You can be creative with your infant care – such as trading babysitting time with a friend so you have the time to do something for yourself or clean the house.

8. Keep up with family traditions or rituals. Single parents are able to develop their own traditions for their children whether it’s a holiday tradition or a bedtime ritual. This support and structure gives all children a secure home base from which to operate.

9. Keep up your relationships. Before you were a single parent to an infant you had friends and relationships. Keep them up because they will be able to help you and will provide the support and structure you need to get through your days.

10. Keep a positive outlook on your challenges. A positive outlook will help decrease the stress you feel in any given situation and will increase your feeling of success – all of which will improve your parenting skills.

11. Identify your strengths and weaknesses as a single parent. All of us have strengths and weaknesses. Once you identify what each of them are you have a better chance of playing off your strengths or improving your weaknesses without just shooting in the dark.

12. Remember that the negative predictions about growing up in a single parent household has more to do with economic hardship than with the lack of one parent. Single parents can raise content and successful children when they work together with others to provide their children all that they need.

13. Some single parents believe that the faster they remarry the better their children will be – because the children will have the benefit of two parents in the household. However some more recent research indicates that children may suffer more harm by living in a conflict or watching unhealthy role models.

14. Don’t fall into the trap of believing your children now come from a ‘broken’ home. Effective parenting skills and healthy relationships are what make a house a home. Keeping children in an environment that is full of conflict or physical violence has more negative effects on them than if they become the child of a single parent.

15. Prioritize your responsibilities. Make a list of what is on your plate such as bill paying, household duties, financial responsibilities, child care or work to name a few. Prioritize the list and take care of the things that are highest on the list. Don’t worry about the ones at the end of the list.